Few days ago we saw picture of Mr. Manohar Parikkar, Chief Minister of Goa, presenting the state budget while having a tube going through his nose. He is 63 years today and is suffering from Cancer. Few days after this news I read somewhere hidden in the inside pages of newspapers that he has been shifted to AIIMS at New Delhi. He is very sick. May God bless him and give him a long life.

I had heard that he lost his wife many years ago. A simple google search informed me that his wife, Medha, died in the year 2001 at the age of 40. She died of Cancer. Parikkar ji was around 45 then. He brought up his two sons, became the Chief Minister of Goa multiple times after that, became the Defence Minister of India and what a travesty that today, like his wife, he is also battling Cancer.

I wrote this not the express grief, but to bring to attention the response of a man to situations in life. He has undergone, and is still undergoing, one of the most traumatic life situations, but he is fighting hard and is an inspiration to us.

Couple of years ago I met a man who had undergone a break up in his Iife. In front of me I have seen him degenerating slowly. He is on pills for depression, high blood pressure, diabetes and many others. Still he is far from normal and has gone in a shell. He has become a recluse. His bright professional career is long over.   He has surrendered to a situation in life, lost his confidence and is barely surviving. He feels that he has been victimized by his life and God and has given up hope.

I also met a personal friend in a similar situation. I have known him and his family for decades. Their separation was bitter. Wife has foisted multiple and false litigation on him. He and his parents have spent some time behind bars also. His wife today considers herself to be victimized by my friend and his parents and with a vengeance is doing everything possible to hurt them.

Reason I decided to write after a long time today is the immense learning that I saw for myself in these stories. While these are just few cases that I have mentioned here, there are many more happening around us every day.

There are people who despite going through a challenging phase(s) in life have decided to confront the situation, fight hard, not be bitter and maintain a smiling face. It may be my favourite taxi driver who works hard, takes care of his ailing parents, educates his daughters and still manages to contribute few days to social work at his village in interiors of Maharashtra along with few days of his income, or my yoga instructor who despite undergoing a severe situation of back ache for many weeks attends all his classes without anyone even knowing that he is barely able to walk without support of pain killers.

People who surrender to difficult phases in life are also many. Today it is no longer a taboo to speak about mental illness. Many celebrities have openly spoken about their battles with depression. Most have recovered after a period of time either when their circumstances changed or they managed to gather strength to cope up with the situation. Names just keep coming in my mind – Anupam Kher, Deepika Padukone, Anushka Sharma, Varun Dhawan, Hrithik Roshan and the list is endless. There are many who couldn’t cope up, like Meena Kumari, Parveen Babi, Guru Dutt etc. They are all victims of circumstances in their mind, blame the situation or God Almighty and generally have given up the will to fight their situation.

Last category is the people who also feel victimized, not by circumstances but by other people around them. Their response then is to use it as a justification to inflict worst possible injury to the perceived perpetrators. To them it doesn’t matter if their actions become extremely vicious, cross all boundaries of civility and inflict worst kind of pain on the perceived perpetrator. For them every action of theirs is a rational response to the perceived victimization caused by the other. Entire terrorism and left wing Maoism is fawned by such feelings.

What I am hinting at here is the response of people to similar situations in life. One fights with the situation like a warrior and never gives up, second surrenders to the situation and becomes a mental wreck and third inflicts injuries on others while rationalizing it to himself. While the first category is a role model for all of us, second two are the ones we need to be concerned the most. We need to ask ourselves if by any chance we are in those and if we are, we need to take corrective steps immediately. We also need to watch others around us and take inspiration from people like my taxi driver while helping and guiding people who are unable to cope. I will never forget the words of an old man with wisdom who told me once – ‘never get overwhelmed by the struggles of life because Struggle itself is known by another name called Life. Right from the time a Life comes on earth in form of a baby his struggle starts in breathing, eating and drinking, walking etc. and it stays with Life till as an old man he takes his last breath. Struggle is Life and Life is Struggle. Never try to detach the two. (Jab tak sangharsh hai, jeewan hai)Till we have struggle, we have life’.

My Little Thought Of Life in this context is that we need to inculcate within ourselves and in our children that challenging times, ailments, misery and even death are essential part of our lives. We need to deal with them with strength and not as victims. We surrender to them or become aggressive to others because we were not prepared mentally for difficult situations and when they come we start blaming others or the situation. Difficult situations don’t come in the life of our neighbours alone since we ourselves are the neighbours to our neighbours and equally human.  Once it is ingrained within us that Life is Struggle and Struggle is Life, we will be able to deal with our struggles with ease.

To my friends and readers I wish strength to deal with their Struggles, which is the Life itself.