First time when I saw an orchestra I was mighty amazed. How a man who had no musical instrument in his hand, but a baton which he was moving in different directions, control so many musicians and give his instructions was a mystery to me and stays till date. But what surprised even more was when I once saw the conductor behind the stage getting angry at the person who was playing the violin. In that particular performance the audience had clapped for the violinist the most. And here I was watching the same person being scoulded that he hadn’t performed well. This incident made me appreciate the conductor even more. Imagine that there are around 30-40 people playing different instruments and the conductor was able to catch those few notes from one instrument that deviated from path. In all the sounds, which was enjoyed by the audience, he could feel each instrument separately in his ears and mind and identify what was right or wrong. That day gave me an important life lesson – of getting to see someone being able to analyse each note, each voice, each string in midst of many such sounds.

 

But then though this skill is indeed unique, it is by no means exclusive to the conductors of orchestra. Just think of a good cook, may be our own mothers. We may be enjoying a dish cooked by someone, but the moment our mother eats it she is able to tell a specific ingredient that may be out of proportion. In the mix of many flavours of food items and condiments, an expert can feel the flavour of each individual ingredient.

 

The same thing applies to many such things, whether it is a painter, singer, tailor, writer, engineer, tea and wine tasters etc. But issue in mind is why are they able to see things which most others can’t? And why they can see things only in some specific areas and not others?

 

To my mind this is a matter of communication. They communicate with their favourite subjects, whether these are musical notes or strokes of paint or flavours of the condiments.  They communicate and feel them. This is a communication that happens not in words but in feelings. Nothing needs to be said or spoken but still everything gets communicated. In this communication they can feel and understand each note, each strand, each condiment individually and separately.

 

But why do I write on this today? We are all aware of the hidden talents of all these experts in different fields and their ability to understand their own subjects better than others. The reason I write is because I feel it is a matter of understanding and perception. This is where I think we have learning for life. Are we able to feel and perceive individual shades of moods, words, statements, and expressions of people when we communicate with them?  Do we really communicate? Are we able to segregate the actual content that reflects in expressions but gets hidden under the mask of words?

 

Just a couple of days ago I was having a heated discussions with one of my senior team members over phone. After explaining a particular point many times over I got exasperated when I found that he was unable to get essence of the discussion. It became so tough for me to explain to him that issue was not a particular incident but the underlying message. At that moment another colleague was sitting in front of me. He was enjoying my frustration and inability to communicate something that was so easy for him to understand. Eventually, the discussion got over. When the situation calmed down I called him again and discussed things in a different perspective and told him that a good team is one where when he speaks one word I understand full sentence and when I speak one word he understands full sentence. That’s when we would be able to communicate and understand better. That’s when we will be able to deliver the desired results to the organization. Isn’t this a matter of perception, of understanding the key message in midst of many sounds that distract us? Something similar to the conductor and his orchestra?

 

Imagine a situation where a man returns home and his wife looks at him and asks, is everything alright? He says yes, all well. But most wives would agree with me that they get their answer not in the word ‘yes’. What they see, perceive and understand is the expression, the tone, the body language and know instantaneously if everything was fine or not. More often than not they can even sense the probable issue that is bothering her husband whether it was his boss, subordinate, something external, his mother’s illness or his own. Now that’s what we may say is their ability to understand the underlying message, irrespective of words that are spoken. Isn’t it like an orchestra again?

 

When we were studying engineering more often than not we used to deal with figures and numbers. Almost all questions had a definitive right answer. But the moment we entered business school the environment changed. Here more often than not we used to get case studies to analyse. Focus shifted more to understanding a situation, identifying the underlying problem and suggesting a solution to it. Toughest part for our engineers mind set was that there was no right or wrong answer. Often two or more answers would be correct. Not only this, the solution which was better could also change with the person who was checking the answers. It was really difficult for us at that time. But then over a period of time we started witnessing a pattern. Some people were good in understanding the individual issue, its impact on the situation and identify the right problem that needed to be addressed to solve the entire issue. Once again, we find a situation where there are many sounds like they are in an orchestra, but only some have that ability to understand, feel and perceive each sound and identify the one that is out of sync and is playing havoc with the system.

 

As I grew older I saw many situations, both in personal and professional lives, where we are often unable to understand the situation and its underlying message properly and in the process keep making our lives complicated. This is something like a doctor continuing to treat a patient by administering only paracetamol in case of high fever rather than understanding the reason of the fever and treating that. We see that some people are better in their perceptions than others. Some people are better in their perception in some specific fields only. The combinations could be many.

 

For example, if a worker is frequently being absent one boss may just give him firing. But a seasoned boss will try to understand his situation first, like is he physically well, does he want to leave his job, he has any family problem, is the boss itself a problem etc. Only with few cues he will be able perceive the reason and solve it. We all do it in our day to day lives, some successfully some not so successfully. But situations like this happen around us all the time. The issue remains that of perception, listening each sound individually and arriving at a solution.

 

Sometimes the inability to perceive and understand the situation can be disastrous. I remember a colleague who was with me many years ago. While most people used to take their jobs seriously this guy was remarkably casual in his approach. He was otherwise jovial and outspoken and got along with the CEO very well.  He never noticed that the seasoned and soft spoken CEO had been politely giving him indications that enough is enough and needs to pull up his socks till one fine day he was asked to leave the organization. Everybody around him had perceived the warnings except for him. And he paid for it with his job.

 

An issue which is in limelight these days is the suicide of a young actress. Unfortunately, this sad incident is not the only one of its kind.  But do these things happen all of a sudden? Chances are that there would be some indications of the thoughts of the person. What is required is a perceptive mind to observe the behaviour, changes and underlying reasons by the family members. I have come across situations where after the sad incident family members lament that if only they had been careful to observe these signs earlier they could do something.

 

Sometimes, there are missed opportunities. Imagine you are a good performer and are well known in the industry. You come across the CEO of the largest and most respected company in a social gathering. But that company happens to be your competitor, though you would very much like to work for them. Encounter is brief and in midst of many people floating around. The person asks you a very simple question – are you enjoying your job? This may be a simple question or he may be interested to know if you are looking for a change. Chances are it is the second option. A simplistic answer may be, yes, I’m very happy. But a perceptive mind, would know the intent and give a response he wants to give, may be something like, yes I’m happy but that doesn’t mean I’ll decline a good opportunity if it comes my way. The job done, at an appropriate time things will start rolling in the right direction. What is important is the moment and ability to understand the real message in the mask of words. If the moment gets lost, it may never come again. You may never meet the CEO in this situation or the opportunity may never arise with him. It is matter of perception, understanding and ability to see the underlying message behind a sentence and the speed to do so.

 

I can continue to quote endless examples here. But the issue is about understanding the underlying message that comes out of these words and examples.

 

My Little Thought Of Life in this context is that as we grow older we need to understand the difference between seeing and observing, hearing and listening, watching and perceiving, reading and connecting the dots. This is what will allow us to avoid many problems of life and leverage many opportunities that come our way. There are no books, no trainings, no courses, no degrees to teach us these abilities. We ourselves need to be conscious of our surroundings and interactions with people. Challenge is to listen to each sound in midst of many sounds and get the essence, understand the underlying message and keep the growth trajectory high. We need to try that our internal antennas are drawn out as a matter of routine and perceive every event around us the right way.

 

To my friends and readers I wish an increasing ability to be like a conductor of an orchestra in all aspects of their lives and be perceptive to live a fuller life.