Nindak niyare rakhiye, Angan kuti chawai,
bin pani sabun bina, nirmal kare subhaiye

Keep your critiques close to you, let their hut be in your courtyard,
That way you don’t need soap n water to cleanse your nature

These are the famous words of Kabir. They don’t need any introduction from me. But even then if I have decided today to write on this issue, it is not to explain its meaning but to remind myself first and then my friends about it and its impact on our day to day life. Though this issue has been in my mind for quite some time the immediate trigger was a stupid mistake that I made just yesterday.

I was returning to Mumbai by a Jet Airways flight. I was allotted a seat in the 15th row in the economy class. In their aircraft seating in economy starts from row 10. As I was entering I started counting the rows 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 and 15. I found an old lady occupying the seat allocated to me. I counted many times but end result was same. Luckily I saw a member of the cabin crew there and showed her my boarding card asking her to help me identify my seat. Very cheerfully she directed me to my vacant seat. I was quite angry at myself for making a silly error and looking at the old lady with some kind of negative thoughts. I started looking at the numbers written on the overhead bins – 10, 11, 12, 14 and 15. The aircraft didn’t have 13th row. This was when I have been travelling this airline for years. In this case matter began and ended without any incidence but what hit me was the fact that a grown up man like me did a simple calculation multiple times but still didn’t get the right answer. What if instead of a simple issue it was an important decision and I made a big mistake? What if there was no one like the stewardess to correct my mistake? It prompted me to finally write my thoughts on this issue.

We as individuals, groups, companies and countries take decisions and actions every moment. I’m sure that almost all such decisions and actions by us are taken with an assumption that we are taking the right decision. Sometime people may take calculated risks, but almost everybody is sure that he is not taking a wrong decision. Even a person who commits a crime like murder would justify the action to himself at that moment about the righteousness of that action. If everybody takes right decisions how come many decisions and actions are wrong? The above example given by me is a live example on our superlative capability to make mistakes in life. We all know the adage – to err is human. But we all also know that it is applicable to others and not to us. But more on this later.

I remember my school days when we used to study arithmetic. Those days we didn’t have the luxury of using calculators. Often while doing simple maths like addition or subtraction we made silly mistakes. Just like I gave my own example earlier that even after checking and rechecking we found that nothing was wrong, but still the total was not tallying. Then suddenly a friend saw the calculations, identified the silly error in less than a minute and told us where were we wrong. In this situation while we were confident of our being right in our calculations, someone else could find the error so easily. This is how the life is. Not only do we keep making errors, often we are unable to see them ourselves. But to others those errors are visible very easily.

I had a very good friend in my childhood. He was youngest in five siblings and the only son of his parents. Obviously he was a darling of his parents and sisters who all doted on him. Right from childhood his wish was a command for everybody in the family. His father was a businessman. As he started growing old his desires also kept growing and slowly he drifted into wrong type of company, didn’t study much and was not even involved in the business of his father. Parents and elder sisters and even their husbands tried to advise him to change, but he wouldn’t listen. Slowly, they gave up on him. We also moved to a different city. Few years ago I met my friend again. We met all of a sudden, hugged each other had tears in our eyes. Then we started discussing the life that had gone by for us. His parents were no more, business was floundering, he was deep in debt, still unmarried and had no family, sisters were busy in their own lives etc. Having met a well-wisher after a long time he started sobbing loudly. Once he calmed down he kept repeating one statement repeatedly, ‘if only I had listened to the criticism of my parents and sisters I’d have been in a better situation’. If only he had allowed his well-wishers to speak their mind and criticize him and if only he had paid heed to them. Alas! Critics are never appreciated, even if they are your own and have your best interest in their mind.

Though we all as individuals knowingly or unknowingly make mistakes, the impact of those is largely confined to we ourselves or at best to the people within the four walls of our homes. But importance of these mistakes increases substantially if we as individuals hold a position of authority and take decisions that touch the life of many others. Higher we go in hierarchy and in terms of authority, higher the impact of our actions on others. Both good and bad. Classic situation of Authority and Responsibility going together. This is applicable to all such positions from small to big, right from the head of family to head of state.

As we go up the level of authority something else also starts happening. One, we start becoming more confident of our ability to think rationally without realizing when this confidence starts getting transformed into ego and arrogance that ‘I’m right, I can’t go wrong and I know the best’. After all, the growth in authority that we are experiencing is primarily the result of our superior thinking. Second, due to the power of reward that comes along with this authority we slowly start witnessing many ‘yes men’ around us. These are the people who excel in massaging our ego subtly for their own benefit. Thirdly, the same authority also gives a power of punishment to us. This in turn makes people around us more circumspect in what they say to us. Anything which they feel has even the slightest potential to ruffle us is not spoken. Slowly all voices of dissent quieten around us and we hear what we want to hear and which are in consonance with our own thinking. All these three things keep reinforcing in our mind that what we think, what we do and what we say is right, even if we are chanting two plus two is five.

I’m reminded of an old Akbar Birbal story which I’ll narrate here in brief. Once Akbar was served brinjal in his dinner. He didn’t like the taste of it and made a comment. He asked the opinion of Birbal who was sitting there. He immediately replied that not only it is has no taste but it has no health benefits – in hindi he said that not only it is called baingan but it is be-gun also. He further added that it is quite bad to look at having a dark complexion. Akbar was happy to know that the most intelligent man in his court agreed with his view. After few weeks Akbar’s cook prepared a different dish of brinjal. This time the king liked it a lot. As it happened, Birbal was sitting there even time also. Akbar told him that he liked the vegetable this time and asked for his view. As always, the intelligent Birbal immediately offered his analysis and said My Lord, brinjal is not only good in taste but see how royal it is in looks. It has a muscular body, shiny skin, excellent complexion and like a king has a crown on his head also. This time Akbar was puzzled. He asked Birbal why he gave an opposite opinion few days ago for brinjal. Birbal replied politely, My Lord, I get my salary from you and not the brinjal. For me what you say is always right.

Did it happen in the days of kings only? I think not. Few days back I was watching the story of The Desert Fox, Erwin Rommel of the Nazi Germany. He was a decorated soldier of World War I and distinguished himself as one of the finest commanders of Hitler in World War II. I was surprised to know that such a distinguished soldier who had risen to the rank of Field Marshall in the Hitler’s army died of forced suicide even before the war ended. A senior officer as him could not tell Hitler and convince him that taking a step back in a battle is sometimes essential to win the war. He paid for it with his life. But then we are speaking of Hitler here, the most celebrated dictator of modern times.

There may be many such accounts of kings and political leaders which have not come out in public domain. I’m sure events like ‘Emergency’ that was declared in India in the year 1975 would have gone through similar travails. But in all these incidents even though the impact is on millions of people actual actors are few in numbers. Whatever I may think or write here, they will continue to behave the way they do. My intention is to bring out this reality of life closer than this.

I’ve had opportunity to work with many CEOs very closely. Some were successful, some were not. For most, success and failures kept on alternating, as is the rule of life. I’m in touch with them even now. When they were in the saddle they took many decisions. Some or some important decisions didn’t go right. Due to those decisions not only they themselves suffered but the organizations, employees, their families, vendors, stake holders etc. also suffered. For many their entire careers got destroyed. Since I know all these decision makers well I can vouch for their integrity, competence and good intentions. Also, I’m aware that while they were taking these decisions they had the best interest of organization at heart and sincerely believed about righteousness of those decisions. Equally, I’m aware that many of my colleagues, including myself, knew that they were making an error in their judgement. But we were in minority, sort of mute spectators, who kept on watching the unfolding scenario helplessly. As the luck would have it, we the nay sayers were proven right. Those decisions proved disastrous for all. In retrospect, the decision makers today realize many of the errors they made then. But then, ab pachtaye hote kya jab chidiya chug gayi khet? At that time they were passing through the three scenarios that I mentioned earlier. There was nobody around them to tell them that their actions were not right. If there were some feeble voices, they were completely ineffective.

I’ve also found many people around me who are very proud of their learning and experience because of which they are somebody’s in their lives today. But in an environment that is changing at a very fast pace what is essential is learning, un-learning and re-learning. People who are unable to do so get blown off by the winds of change. But these people are so proud of their own learning that for them it is the gospel truth. For them nothing can be superior to what they have learnt. After all they have decades of experience behind them. In the process they stifle all voices of new and better ways of doing things. Not for a moment for them any thought that the world is progressing only because people constantly find better ways to do the same things and improve lives. They have completely closed minds. There’s no chance of any contra voice to stay around them. As it is said that ‘change’ is the only constant in life, with time these people also move on. Someone else now takes the seat. He understands the situation prevailing earlier and tries to rectify it. But in the process precious time is lost, which may be in years. Organizations suffer and people suffer in this period. Alas! if only someone had told them that not all their beliefs are applicable today and they had accepted that view.

What Kabir had said centuries ago is known to all of us, but still we find it very difficult to put it in practice ourselves.

My Little Thought Of Life in this context is that we must remember at all times, we as human beings are fallible. This is a thought that brings humility in us. It is said, as the tree grows higher, it should learn to bend or else it will break. Humility makes us respect the views of others and consider them dispassionately even if in the end our own view prevails. Being humble in no way compromises the quality of leadership. We have ready examples of our ex-PM Atal Bihari Vajpayee and ex-President Abdul Kalam in front of us. Once we accept that we are fallible it is important to allow free flow of contra views and critique of our decisions. This is the only thing that will prevent us from making errors in life. It is important for us to have – nindak close to us. Without them there’s nobody to inform us if we are wrong before it is too late. We may believe that we can be our own critics, can do our own logical analysis, but the reality of life is that if we are counting two plus two is five, we will keep doing the same many times over without finding any fault in it. A nindak on contrary will not take more than a few seconds to tell us the truth. I know it is easier said than done. I know that successful people don’t like their mistakes to be pointed. But then true leaders and good human beings become what they are due to these qualities.

I wish my friends and readers to have the strength and ability to have ‘nindak(s)’ around them to be successful and humble at the same time.